Intentional Communication
We all want to feel successful in our work. It’s human nature to want to know that who we are and what we do makes a meaningful difference––that we’re having a positive impact on another person, our community, and the world around us. We’re capable of having meaningful experiences every day when we learn to stay tuned in to what we say and do. Staying tuned in is where things get tricky and why being intentional when you communicate is so important.
It’s been well established that we operate on autopilot 95% of the time when our subconscious programming is running the show. The problem is that much of the subconscious programming we absorbed as kids is flawed. In fact, science has shown that 70% of the programs we download by observing and absorbing the behaviors of our parents, siblings, friends, coaches, teachers, and community are negative, disempowering, and self-sabotaging.
Given that we all have faulty programming and biases that shape the way we interpret information, it’s no wonder that we experience tensions, conflict, and misunderstandings that add to our stress. The good news is that we have far more agency than we use and being intentional in the way you communicate is an effective way to reduce stress and elevate the positive impact you have on everyone around you.
When you set a positive intention, you consciously program the subconscious mind and direct how you want to think, feel and, respond. For example, say you’re an Expressive and you set an intention to talk less, listen more, and draw quieter voices into the conversation during your meetings. The sheer act of setting a positive intention for how you engage paves the way for better communication. Here’s why it works.
Most of us tend to think of communication purely in terms of the words, tone, gestures, and facial expressions we use to get our message across, but it’s so much more than that. There’s a whole communication system that operates just below our conscious level of awareness that’s always sending and receiving messages between us; it operates on an electromagnetic (or “energetic”) level that’s subtle and yet highly influential. Every thought, intention, and emotion carries a frequency that moves through this field of energy. This means that you’re always sending messages to others that influence how they think, feel, and behave, and vice versa.
The energy fields that surround our bodies are highly active and perceptive. The brain and the heart generate rhythmic electromagnetic fields of energy that telegraph what we’re thinking and feeling. You might think that the brain would be more powerful in sending out energetic signals, but the heart’s field is actually much larger and more powerful—it’s about 100 times stronger. In fact, the heart’s field can be detected several feet outside the body in all directions with sensitive magnetometers. This magnetic field is why we’re able to “feel” other people’s emotions. It’s an innate ability that we all possess that heightens our awareness around what others are going through and it allows us to feel more empathy.
Some of the most powerful messages we send are delivered energetically through our intentions. We’ve all been in conversations where we sense that something isn’t quite right, where we feel a person’s motives aren’t on the up-and-up. We’ve also been in conversations where we can feel that people are genuine and honest; it’s why we can immediately trust someone we’ve only just met. What you’re sensing is the energetic vibration of the other person—you’re feeling and experiencing their thoughts, intentions, and emotions through the exchange that happens between your energy fields.
The good news is that when we’re well-intentioned we can positively direct all forms of communication to create more optimal outcomes. This is why setting a positive intention to communicate from the healthiest aspects of your style opens the door for more positive and productive conversations. When the depth of this truth sinks in, you’ll appreciate how important it is to hold a positive intention at all times and to stay mindful of how you’re engaging.
Intentional communication is a practice.
Elevating your communication skills requires intentional practice until it becomes second nature. Here’s a simple and powerful practice that I encourage you to put into action for 30 days, so you can see and feel the difference in the quality of your connections when you are communicating intentionally. It’s profound!
Set a daily intention to communicate from the healthiest expression of your style.
Deliberately look for ways to bring out the best in yourself and others in every conversation.
Factor in the different communication needs of others and flex your style to create more positive connections.
Come back to your intention before important conversations and visualize a productive exchange.
Reflect and learn through your experiences––do more of what’s working and make adjustments where things could work better.
This practice is critical for when you’re experiencing a lot of stress. Pressure has a way of bringing out expedient behaviors––control, impatience, sarcasm, manipulation, avoidance, silence, compliance––that damage relationships. If you’ve explored your communication style under stress, then you probably have a good idea of how you express yourself when you’re not at your best and what to watch for.
Self-awareness is a powerful tool and this practice––intentional communication––will provide you with lots of opportunity for personal and professional insights. I hope you enjoy seeing how easily you can improve your relationships and reduce interpersonal stress by being intentional.
One final thought. Life is infinitely easier when we all intentionally communicate. Share this practice with your friends. Forward this link and invite them to discover their communication style. The assessment is free and it only takes a few minutes.
Thank you for more consciously bringing your voice into the world! It’s needed.
Happily,
Maryanne