Communicating Under Stress: Invest Now or Pay Later
There’s always a price to pay when we communicate from our style under stress. We can either invest the time upfront to calm our emotions and choose our response, so we are at our best. Or, we can invest even more time repairing the damage we caused when our emotional reaction overpowered our judgment.
As time accelerates and workloads increase, stress is an ever-present companion. Whether it's meeting deadlines at work, dealing with unexpected challenges, or delivering difficult feedback, we often find ourselves in stressful situations. It’s in these moments that our communication skills (and character) are tested.
When stress takes hold, it is tempting to prioritize speed over intentionality. It’s easy to react impulsively, without pausing to consider the lasting impact of what we say. Before we know it, the trust we have built weakens under the weight of our words.
It doesn't have to be this way. We do have a choice.
We can choose to invest a little time upfront to be intentional about how we respond; it usually takes somewhere between a few minutes to a day. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to sleep on it.
And with practice, we can get to a point where taking just a few, deep breaths allow us to be thoughtful about what we say and do. We can learn to choose our words, soften our tone, and slow our roll. We can be both clear and kind––and willing listen. (Listening is always a good idea.)
Or…
We can choose to dive right in. Speak our mind. And swirl in regret. assuming we have a conscience. But if we want to get anywhere, personally or professionally, an apology will be required in order to begin repairing the damage done.
Rebuilding trust is an uphill battle that can take days, weeks, or longer, depending upon how frequently you let it fly. And it’s a battle that’s not always won.
5 Tips for Communicating at Your Best Under Stress
Learn to recognize the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that signal you are feeling stress. Stay mindful of the signals your body sends to “tell” you that it’s important to pay attention to how you’re communicating.
When you recognize your “tells,” take a few slow, deep breaths to calm your central nervous system. This will allow you to think more clearly and be more intentional about what you say and do.
Carefully choose your words and deliberately deliver your message in a way that is clear, kind, and sincere.
Dial up the empathy. Listen to what they have to say and put yourself in their shoes to try to understand their perspective.
Reflect and learn from your experiences. Spend a few minutes reflecting back on the situation and look for insights. What’s working well? What’s not? How might you better manage the situation? Then, take what you’ve learned and apply it the next time.
We all have the ability to choose our response and elevate the way we communicate under stress. It’s a skill that takes intentional practice––and we can begin today!
I’m choosing to slow down and take a breath, so I can communicate at my best. Who is with me?
Happily,
Maryanne
